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Check-In #3: Smooth-ish Sailing

I don't have much to report since my last check-in. I'm not sure that this is good or bad. To be honest I wasn't challenged much in the negativity department. I wasn't faced with much that could make me spiral. I went on a huge-haul grocery shopping trip with Goose, went on walks, had a couple cheat meals that made me happy, made a new recipe that turned out....meh....watched the original Indiana Jones trilogy (which Goose had never seen) and vegged out on the couch. All in all it was a great weekend.

I had a few technical difficulties again, which seems to be the pattern these last couple weeks. I moved through them. We spent an hour and a half over two days trying to sell Goose's old phone to a recycling machine which was incredibly frustrating, but I used the time to wander solo through a really nice grocery store and daydream. Not too shabby.

I had sent a package priority mail to my brother last week, and it said it was delivered. Not the case. He didn't receive it. I tried not to get too worried, but I was concerned since the contents were irreplaceable. At first I got mad at myself for sending the package at all--why hadn't I thought of bringing it with me in person in July when I go home? I was going to start to beat myself up about it, but thought, "No, it's nice to get things in the mail. I wanted to do something nice for Ed, and it's not my fault it's 'lost'." In hind sight it's easy to think 'if only' and regret making a certain decision. In attempting to figure out where the package could be I had to fill out a form online with the USPS. I tried it four times on my phone and then on my computer, and every time there was an error message after the last step to submit. Again, I was annoyed, but tried one more option of calling in the submission instead of filling it out myself. Bingo. I'm realizing that often there is more than one option, more than even two in fact. I'm trying to think outside the box these days instead of leaning on my anxiety and negativity.

I mentioned in my last post that I was interested in working with a coach to improve my self-worth. I had an introductory session with her yesterday and will hopefully move forward with it. I just need to secure some finances before I commit. She said something interesting that I would like to explore further. She said that negative thoughts aren't necessarily a bad thing. We talked about how our brains are meant to keep us alive, not happy. About how our brains don't know the difference between work anxiety and the very real danger of a bear in the woods. I want to explore how practicing positive neuroplasticity can rewire my brain to focus on self-compassion, courage, kindness, gratitude and patience instead of repeating my patterns of anxiety and overwhelm.

I also scheduled a session with an Intuitive Medium at the beginning of May. I'll have a session with them to "connect to the essence of my Soul". When I tell you I am open to exploring all avenues to open up my positivity and creativity I am not kidding. I'm saying yes to these opportunities and seeing where they'll take me.


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